As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Even my vagina gasped.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize