i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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