Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
