I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
