Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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