he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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