You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
This toilet bowl is my home.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
