And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
