hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
