Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(419): View more from Ohio

You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....

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(512): View more from Texas

Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...

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(256): View more from Alabama

he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.

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(248): View more from Michigan

Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.

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(810): View more from Michigan

Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.

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(310): View more from California

she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.

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(941): View more from Florida

I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.

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(616): View more from Michigan

dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin

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