it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
