just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
