i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
