There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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