all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
