recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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