Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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