very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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