What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
