i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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