Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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