I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
