Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
