Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
