This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
