How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
