so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
