i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
