dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
this just has baby written all over it
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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