My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
