How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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