My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
