Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Randomize
