A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
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