Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
