yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
did you just send me my own nude
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
