Rock
Scissors
Fuck
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
