He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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