U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
