Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
