ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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