I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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