I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
