proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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