just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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