Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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