Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I forget how to act sober
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