I accidentally burped into my bong.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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