So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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