i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Randomize
