what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
