Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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