so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
