I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Randomize
