Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
