he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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