Your tits are I can't wait for
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
