On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
