Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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