pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
